"IF I HADN'T BEEN THROUGH [ID ESSENCE],
I'D STILL BE LYING.

I'D STILL BE DOING STUFF AND THINKING
'NO ONE’S GOING TO KNOW'

AND I’D BE BACK IN PRISON."

- Community beneficiary

MARY’S STORY*

(in the words of mary & her id essence worker)

Mary and her ID Essence Worker met in 2017, when Mary was 20 years old and serving her first prison sentence. She was referred to do the myLife Managing Emotions course by her Offender Manager and one of the prison Governors because they were finding it hard to manage her behaviour in the prison. Mary engaged really well with the course and said she found it really insightful and helped her to begin to make changes.

Mary was then released from prison in 2018 And her Essence Worker let her know that ID Essence were here to support her outside if she needed any help. We sent Mary a couple of cards in the post with our contact details. Mary said she often thought about calling her Essence Worker when she was out, but described herself as “one of those people who hates asking for help” so she didn’t end up calling.

Due to going through further traumatic experiences after prison and having difficulties accessing healthcare support she needed, Mary ended up getting back involved in crime after her release and ended up coming back to prison about a year later. Mary ended up returning to the same prison again that ID Essence are based in and re-connected with her ID Essence Worker. They restarted having weekly sessions where Mary spoke about different things that were on her mind each week, struggles she was facing both past and present and began to think about what some of her hopes and aspirations were for the future. During this time the Covid lockdown hit, so they were no longer able to have their weekly sessions, but Mary and her ID Essence Worker were still able to see each other regularly through visits on the wing.

Mary faced a lot of hardship in prison and it was a difficult and traumatic place to be, as it is for so many young women – particularly for those from racially minoritised groups. However Mary persevered through the hardships, kept engaging really positively with her ID Essence Worker as well as some other services in the prison such as the mental health and substance misuse teams. This time, when it was time for her release, she was ready and willing to access help and support.

Mary was released in April 2021, and this time round, she responded to the card we sent her in the post reminding her of the support available and Mary reached out saying she would like to continue working with Essence outside. Since then, Mary and her ID Essence Worker have been in touch regularly through phone calls, messages and in person meet ups. Life has not been easy for Mary after prison – she has faced significant barriers with areas such as her housing, her physical and mental health,  difficulty accessing the benefits she is entitled to and various others.

However despite these barriers, Mary has persevered and not given up. She has reconnected with her family and is very close with them, she has secured a place to study Law at University, she has started accessing therapy and mindfulness groups (which she has now been asked to help deliver) and made good improvements with her health conditions. Mary has been able to invest in her fitness and wellbeing through accessing the gym with ID Essence’s help to get started, and is also in a much safer living situation now. Mary also has aspirations for some new businesses she wants to start in future, so watch this space!

Mary is someone who has truly overcome the odds, life is still hard and she is still up against structural injustices and barriers, but her strength and resilience is inspiring. We are grateful to have been able to support Mary on her journey so far and it doesn’t end here; ID Essence will continue to support Mary for as long as she needs, no matter what.

In April 2022, ID Essence held a Live Lounge celebration to mark 10 years operating as a project. We asked Mary if she could share some words for the event about what she is proud of herself for. Here is what she said:

“There’s so many things I’m proud of accomplishing in the last year and I’m proud of how much I’ve grown as a person. Nothing was working for me when I first came out of prison and I was just always frustrated. [My ID Essence Worker] has been so instrumental in my progress and she’s always been my biggest cheerleader and she reminds me to never give up and keep my chin up. I’m currently awaiting starting my law course at Uni in September, I’ve finally moved out of my bad accommodation and I’ve sorted out all of my financials. It’s been a long and trying year but eventually it all worked out. There’s sooo much more personally that I’ve accomplished like my anger, my emotions and everything in between!”

*Not her real name.

QUOTES ABOUT ID ESSENCE FROM OUR BENEFICIARIES

KYLIE’S* STORY

(written by kylie)

I first met my Essence Worker in September 2021 and then shortly after engaged in weekly sessions with ID Essence.

Whilst I was in custody, Essence would see me once a week, and would come and speak with me about my wellbeing, my future goals and aspirations and help with preparing for my release and looking at job opportunities. Upon release, I was picked up at the gate by my Essence Worker and another [Essence] worker too. They took me to eat, and came with me to my property to meet my housing officer, and then came and supported me at my first probation appointment. I found this very helpful, and I was able to not feel so alone, lost or confused upon my release.

Once settled in the community, [my Essence Worker] would drive up to my accommodation, and helped me to prepare a new CV and cover letter so that I could begin searching for jobs. I was also helped with sorting out my benefits, attending probation and job centre appointments, going out to get shopping (as I have social anxiety) and honestly whatever help I needed, within reason, I received.

Unfortunately I’m back in prison but I have a video link with my Essence worker every 2 weeks…and we catch up on everything. My Essence Worker was able to contact my old housing officer and retrieve my stuff from my house and brought it to [a family member’s] house for me, which I couldn’t be more thankful for. I genuinely thought I had lost all belongings.

From September 2021, up until now I have felt understood, supported and forever grateful for all my worker and ID Essence has done for me. The help has made me grow as a person, as I no longer doubt my future, and what I can be capable of doing, and when I have needed help and support, I’ve not been afraid to reach out and ask. I thank everyone unconditionally and look forward to what the future holds.

*Not her real name.

Have the courses helped you? If so, how?

TAMMY’S STORY

(WRITTEN BY TAMMY)

I started engaging with ID Essence while I was in prison in 2020, I have been engaging with them ever since.

When I was in prison I did a lot of activities, group and individual sessions with ID Essence. They have always been there for me when needed. They somehow understood me and never judge me. I have trust issues so when it came to ID Essence, I never thought in a million years I would feel able to speak to them. I thought I would be uncomfortable speaking about how I felt or my past or anything, but I wasn’t and that’s when I knew I was comfortable with them. They probably know more about me than my family.

Since coming out of prison it was a tough road for me, but ID Essence always has been there for me and whenever I needed somebody to speak to or even ask questions they have always helped me. I have had regular meet up sessions which really helps but also, I have had practical support.

Engaging with ID Essence has made a big difference in my life. A lot of time I gave up and ID Essence has always managed to boost up my energy and hope in life. Anything I needed they were always available and somehow always had the answer for me. I am so grateful for ID Essence, I hope more people will continue to engage with ID Essence and understand that not everyone that works in the prison system don’t care, because that’s not what ID Essence do, they care. I thank everyone for helping me even when I have been hard-headed.

*Not her real name*